God Skypes again

God Skypes me in the morning when I am in my office.

"Hi Mark. Skype video finally works on Linux!"

"Hi God, I know, thank You for that." I say.

"De nada." God is old.  Probably the oldest person I know, if you can even call Him a person,  but He stays up on the recent lingo.

"It's been a minute, eh?"

"It certainly has," He agrees.  "So long that it seems you've forgotten some things."

"Oh." I say.  "You mean about that 'Believe in Jesus' thing?"  See my last blog post, or the next I guess, if you are reading them in the wrong direction.

"I didn't really mean that, I just didn't want to talk to him." I explain.

"Well Mark, that it understandable, but you know I have a rule about lying." He says.

"Ahh." I say, "Is that one of your rules? One of the 10?"

"Sure is, Mark, its the first one."

"Really," I ask, I thought the first was about false prophets or something.

"Oh, yeah!" He says, " 'Put no other god before me'.  It's been a while, maybe the lying one was second."

I Google it.  

"I don't see it here at all," I say.  

"Read them out." He instructs.

I do.  

"That one.  'Don't bear false witness', that's it," He says. "Ninth eh? It should be first.  I don't know who collected them like this."

"That's about lying?  Why wouldn't you just say 'Thou shall not lie'?"

"It's a translation, Mark.  I said it in Hebrew.  And, it wasn't written down, it was just passed on orally."

"Isn't the story that it was written down?  In stone, no less. It is the parable that gives us that expression." I say.

"That's just a story,"  He explained, "People couldn't read back then, what would be the point of writing it down."

"Posterity?"

"I'm eternal." He says, "There is no 'post'."

"Okay." I say.  "I shouldn't have lied. "But those guys have no qualms about lying either.  They'll do anything to get you into their little club."

"Yeah, I know," He says, "But you are one of the good ones, Mark, you have to hold yourself to a higher standard."

"I thought you love everyone."

"That's Jesus, the one you don't believe in." He chides. "I am vengeful and wrathful."

"I've never seen that." I say.

"I want people to think that.  It keeps them honest."

I don't know what to say.  I don't want to bring up the fact that this seems hypocritical.  I feel perhaps that He is just having fun with me, trying to get me to say it.  But perhaps it is that He just hasn't thought everything through.  As I said, He is old.  I don't want to make him feel bad.  

"Okay, well..."  I try that tactic I try with my students when the stay in my office too long.  "Say 'Hi' to Jesus for me..."

Unlike my students, He gets it.  "Keep in touch, Mark. Don't let it go so long next time."

"Alright, bye..." I say, clicking off Skype.