Godfather

I Skype God.

Me: Hey God.
God: Hey Mark, good to hear from you.
Me: You too. How's the weather in Prague these days.
God: Nice and hot. I'm not in Prague right now though. I'm at a conference in Crete.
Me: Oh. A deity conference?
God: No. There aren't any other deities. It's a landscape photography conference.
Me: You're into photography?
God: I dabble. Crete is a nice place. It's hot, but you get a constant breeze off the sea.
Me: Send some photo's when you get the chance.
God: I was actually just putting some on my Facebook.
Me: I'll have to check that out.
God: Hey, your wife is pregnant. Congratulations.
Me: Thanks. We're pretty excited.
God: Are you going to baptise him?
Me: It's going to be a boy?
God: Genderless 'him'. I don't want to ruin the surprise. But you'll baptize him?
Me: I guess. I wasn't really planning on it. You think we should?
God: Doesn't really matter, but I like it. I could do it for you if you want. I'll be in Vancouver in May.
Me: Alright then.
God: Good then- and how about I stop Eunjoo's morning sickness.
Me: Really? That would be great, God.
God: It's the least I can do for the Mother of my godson.
Me: Your godson?
God: Genderless 'son'.
Me: Thanks. I gotta get going.
God: Me too. And I'll see if I can't get a mic so we don't have to type next time.
Me: See you then.
God: Bye.

I didn't realize that in agreeing to let god baptize my child, I was making him the godfather, but I guess you can't do much better. It's not like any of my brothers were up to the task. They are a godless bunch.