The server in my office stops working. I open it up and find a family of squirrels inside. I take them out and settle them in my office avocado tree. I clean their offal out of the server and try to reboot, but find they have nibbled the raid controller. I order a new one but it will take some time to get here. I have no access to the drives until it comes. Luckily most essential infrastructure on the server is backed up on my desktop.
In the mean time, I move my website, my overleaf server, my sage-math server, and a couple other servers that I use frequently to an HP Mini that I had laying about.
I cannot move the Plex server though, as I don't back-up the media. If I cannot recover the server's drives, I will have to re-rip it, and this is an onerous task. So I put this off until the new raid controller gets here.
Until then my family will have to rely on NetFlix for their media consumption.
They don't like the news. But the source of the problem presents its own solution. I start up a company, called NutFlix. Customers can call me up, ask for a show, and I have a squirrel deliver it to them. For the payment of a couple of nuts, the squirrel will wait while they watch it, and then bring it back.
My branding is too strong though, or just a little unclear. Everyone is fixated with the 'Nut'.
The phone rings.
"Good morning," I answer, "NutFlix. How can I help you today?"
An older woman with a screechy accent replies "I'd lik'ee rent a movie, I would."
"Certainly Mam," I answer, "That's what we are here for."
"I'll 'ave 'The Nutty Professor' then." she says.
"Sorry, mam." That one is out right now.
"That's the only nut movie I know!"
"We don't only have nut movies, Mam."
"Well, 'ow about 'Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Nut'?"
"No mam. We don't have that."
"'Me Left Nut' then. You must have 'in. Won an award, it done."
"'My Left Foot,' Mam?" I ask, "We do have that."
"Na thank 'ye." She says, "Sounds horrid. 'ow about 'The Nutshank Redemption'."
"Shawshank, Mam?" I say, "I'll send it right over."
"And 'Nut Club' too, if y'ave it."
" 'Fight club,' Mam?"
"No. Sounds t' violent. Don't like that. Just 'Nut Club' and 'Me Left Nut', please."
