There were too many kids in that house. I see now that our dad was inviting a little survival of the fittest.

If I ever get a Wikipedia page, I am going to need it to list my weapons.

I'm out of the sun, in shorts and a t-shirt, but sweating like my brother Richard after a coffee. My fancy bits are murky and musty and screaming to be let out.

The campus is covered in unnecessary construction projects. Someone in the administration is making a lot of money in kickbacks.

"Piss off." I say, as I have to step to the side to avoid his hand.

"Please don't edit it." I say, "The last lady removed my mole."

"And your grades are good, have you started thinking about your next step? Are you looking for a job, or thinking about grad school?"

My wife likes stirring shit up.