"Is it a little bit red," my wife asks when I tell here about it, "I once say a reddish colour that I didn't know."

I'm starting to sweat. Where are the police when you need them. Out blowing into people's windows, probably.

"I'm not American Military." I say to him. "I'm neither American nor Military. I come by my baldness honestly." I add.

Then I would get peals of laughter when I said: "It's Fermat's Little Theorem."

The mice in my house seem to figured out how to get at a hunk of inside a hard plastic click-locking container, INSIDE the FRIDGE!

"No, no." he says. "Beep is no drinking."

"I'm not a woman," I say, "I can't use an umbrella when it isn't raining."

Walking to the library to return some books, I see a sign posted outside a building advertising 'milk pilates'.