We didn't have a christmas tree last year. It was a poor man's Christmas. Nor did we have presents. We didn't get around to it. We will tell Lucy that it was her fault. We will tell her that she was bad that year. She is too young to understand now why her poor behaviour should make Santa angry.

This year we have a tree. It is artificial. This will be the theme for our Christmas. We will spend artificial time with artificial family. It will be a day of artificial joy. And Irish creme. A perfect secular Christmas.

Though the tree is artificial, we are making real ornaments. Real ornaments out of real clay. In real celebration of Santa's birthday.