April! Tax month. It's the busiest time of the year for mathematicians. Tax is about summing things up, and taking percentages. This calls for a mathematician. The calls I get from accountants at this time of year are eternal. Like sunshine.
"How do I add up a lot of numbers?"
"One at a time."
"They are big numbers"
"Use a calculator."
"Does it matter if they are prime."
"Is it a realized gain?"
"I can't tell."
"Then primes are okay, use a calculator."
Turns out that people don't actually phone mathematicians for taxes. I'm not sure where they get their summing advice, but they aren't phoning me.
Some people wonder what a mathematician does. It's not so much summing things up. Some think it is writing out big equations. My wife thinks it is sitting in front of a computer, doing nothing. Some have suggested it consists of a lot of staring blankly through people pretending that you are thinking about something. In reality, it is a little bit of all of these. With a good share of teaching thrown in. Its hard to say what it is, being a mathematician. But it doesn't really matter what it is. When you try tell anyone about what you do, their eyes invariably glaze over. They are waiting for you to mention the quadratic equation.
"Then you put that all over 2a."
"Divide, you mean?"
"Yep. Divide."
"That's what I thought. Then you sum that all up? Sounds pretty interesting."
Math isn't really about summing things. Many mathematicians take a perverse pride in the fact that they aren't good at mental arithmetic. I find this silly. We don't have to do it of course, nobody does their summing in their head. But most mathematicians tend to be pretty good at it.
12 April 2012
1 min read