There is a knock at my office door.
"Yeah?" I shout out.
The knock comes again.
It often goes this way. People knock but they don't listen at the door. It's like they think I have doorman. They should have their damn ears to the door, listening for my answer. If you aren't going to listen, what is the point of knocking?
"Yeah?" I say louder. "Come in."
The door cracks, and Moon peers in sheepishly.
Professor Moon– the head of the math department.
"What is it Moon?" I say with prescribed irritation.
He comes in and pushes the door closed behind him.
I cock an eye at the action. Everybody knows I like my door open when there are other people in the office. He smiles back sheepishly.
"Out with it, Moon!"
"I have something to discuss with you."
"Sure you do." I say, "Discussion is the currency of your office."
"This is your office." he replies.
"The office of department head. Discussion and meeting calling. What would we do without the endless discussion?"
"Yes, well." He says, "But I want to discuss one of your students."
"This could be delicate, Moon, shut the door."
He looks around and sees that he has already shut it.
"And take off your shoes."
"Why..."
"Fine don't. But it's not my fault if you get shit on them."
He starts, as I take my shoes off, "One of your students wants to change professors."
"Nonesense, Moon. We've just finished exams." I say. "I'm done with all my students."
"One of your advisees." He explains. 'Your jido hakseng.'
Students are assigned a faculty advisor with whom they have to meet once a semester. They cannot graduate without eight registered meetings. Faculty must have 14 students meetings a semester to get the 'Advising Stipend' portion of the 'salary that is not official salary' package that helps to balance the difference between the public servant salary that us professors at public universities receive, and the going salary of professors at private universities.
"Ah." I say. "An advisee? I guess I better put my shoes on for this."
Moon waits, but I stand there not putting my shoes on. He realizes that I am not going to, so continues.
"He is uncomfortable about speaking to you in English."
"What? He wants to speak to you in English? Or someone else! I have the best English of anyone in this department, Moon!" I angrily start putting my shoes on.
"No." explains Moon, "I speak to him in Korean."
"Likely story Moon." How the hell would he know what they were talking about if they were talking in Korean. "What is his name?"
"I don't think you need to know his name."
"Sure I do, Moon." I say, "If I don't, how am I going to find him to yell at him."
"We don't yell at the advisees, we give them advice."
"Yelling is the best way to get it in them."
"It isn't. You should just be answering questions and asking about how their semester is going."
"Name! Moon," I say. "Gimme his name."
"It's Kim", he says.
"They are all `Kim', Moon, what's his full name. I'll sort him out."
"I don't think you have to talk to him, and you certainly don't have to sort him out. He is nervous about talking to you. That's the problem."
"Balderdash!" I say. "I bet his name isn't even Kim. And if it is, I can come up with a way better one for him."
"It is Kim, but I don't think you need to talk to him. I'll just assign him another advisor."
"Fine Moon." I say, taking my shoes off, "But I'm submitting this meeting as a student advising meeting. Now I only have to do 13 more this semester!"
"I don't think it'll register on the system."
"You let me worry about that, little Moon." I say. "Now, could you go open the door?"
Moon goes to the door and opens it, then looks back with a smile, looking for approval.
I throw my shoe at him, yelling "Get outta here you dirty rat, and close that door behind you."
As it is closing, a hand reaches through the gap and stops the door from closing. Evil Mark looks in. "I'll close it." he says unctuously. I throw a pencil at him, but it hits the closing door, and I shake with fury.