"I wish I had as many friends as you." I say. Teasing her back. "What is his name?" I ask, nodding my head back at the construction worker.

I was expecting the '생선' / '선생' confusion that everyone learning Korean has, mixing up 'fish' and 'teacher'.

But cold-cut ham isn't ham. They just cut it off old unclaimed bodies in the morgue.

"Well, that isn't my fault, is it? If you had been happy, I wouldn't have to pretend."

"Well, 'ow about 'Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Nut'?"

Dani Rojas from Ted Lasso is on it. He isn't a soccer player, but a bar tender. That's fine. An actor has to act, and there are only so many roles for soccer players.

"When you see someone looking at the wet patch on my belly, Lisa," I remind her,"I want a loud and sincere sounding 'Sorry for spilling that juice on you, Daddy.' "

"It's a banana," my wife explains.