I get a new pair of shoes. THE new pair of shoes. They are sparkly and red and they highlight my eyes. I look fantastic in them. I AM fantastic in them. And they whistle sweet music when I run. When I wear them I feel warm-- not a sweaty warm, but a warm inner warm. When I wake up in the morning, I jump from my bed, excited about putting on me shoes and going to work. Excited about walking out into the world and having everyone look at me and everyone envy me and everyone love me.

But I can't wear my new red shoes, because some dick who works on the main floor of our building has the same shoes and wears them everyday.