I see a student walking past the cafeteria with "Geek 98" written on his shirt. "If you're geek 98," I say, "I would hate to see geek number one."

I walk into the washroom at school to find four students in their letter-man jackets standing around, phones out, talking. I nod a greeting. But it is insincere.  What I am thinking is "This is bathroom misuse!

We get free tickets for a pet show at the local convention center. 'Lucy would like to see cats and dogs.' we think, and invite her to come along. There is a small ring where dogs

I turn 40 today. And I think I now understand why the average human lifespan used to be about 40. I'm tired. So so tired. Apr 13: I conceived a child today. I guess it doesn&

"Hi God," I say, "It's been a minute." God is old. Probably the oldest person I know, if you can even call Him a person, but He stays up on the recent lingo.

It's Sunday. I'm walking to the market with my family. As we are passing a church, the teams with their pamphlets and packets of wet tissues come issuing out of the doors. My policy

Apparently, Run DMC's Raising Hell-- the first cassette I ever got, along with Paul Simon's Graceland -- is enjoying a resurgence of popularity at present in Korea. At least the t-shirt is. I'

I'm well known for my low-splash toilet stance. It is a long low stance with a deeply bent front knee. It brings the business close to the bowl. It is, however,  very much a toilet stance,