"People our age don't ever mean anything naughty," my wife says, once again killing what little tendrils of hope I manage to send through the crust of everyday life.

Mark Siggers

"I do graph theory." I say, assuming by his question that he knows something about math. "Oh!" he sounds excited, "So you're a sports mathematician?"

Mark Siggers

"Wow, you girls killed those cherries!" I yell. And why not yell? No one listens to me anyways. But I guess Lisa did this time.

Mark Siggers

Student 1: Hey, you know that bald professor? Student 2: The foreigner? Student 1: No, the other one.

Mark Siggers

He deals out the cards, and the first one is very clearly the Death card. "What does that mean?" I ask, a bit concerned.

Mark Siggers

"Mommy, Daddy is drunk and bothering Coco." says Lucy. "It's okay Lucy," my wife responds, "It's Coco's job to talk to your father when he is drunk."

Mark Siggers

" 'Why does a bald man need a brush?' " I accuse him, "It's none of your damned business!"

Mark Siggers

But how are we getting fall weather in the spring? I wonder if perhaps the earth's orbit has reversed. It reminds me of the old pseudo-science classic "Worlds in Collision" by Immanuel Velikovsky.

Mark Siggers