My students hump the midterm. It wasn't just bad, it was historically bad. An epic humping. Two-thirds of the class got below 50 percent.

Then I would get peals of laughter when I said: "It's Fermat's Little Theorem."

"When you see someone looking at the wet patch on my belly, Lisa," I remind her,"I want a loud and sincere sounding 'Sorry for spilling that juice on you, Daddy.' "

It startles me, as any animal would startle anyone opening a door to it.

"Eyes up here, boy." I say, pointing at my eyes.

A student with once said that during my first year teaching at Emory. His plea was dripping with such inappropriate glee that it haunts me every time I hear it.

"Balderdash!" I say. "I bet his name isn't even Kim. And if it is, I can come up with a way better one for him."

Yoon Seok Yul declares martial law late last night while we are sleeping, and brings the military in to halt parliament. Parliament should be sleeping.