I'm looking up Vishnu on Wikipedia, because Lisa has a Vishnu shirt.

In the quick facts on the right, it lists his weapons. One of them is a conch.

If I ever get a Wikipedia page, I am going to need it to list my weapons.

I have a pocket knife, which I call my blunt, and sleek belt with a sharp metal belt buckle. Whenever I imagine altercations with bullies, I whip it the belt from my pants and wield it with devastating effectiveness.

But, I'm never going to have a Conch.