I'm walking down a back street, having dropped Lucy off at school. The street is full of kids coming the other way on their way to school. I'm trying to look tough in front of the kids- hands in my pocket, chewing on a toothpick.

But I go over on my ankle. My Crocs hit a ridge in the road and I go down hard. My hand slapping desperately against a parked car, I hit down with my shoulder, and roll like a flailing ladybug onto my back.

I right myself and get up to. The kids have stopped and are silently staring at me. "Don't you laugh, you little shits. Don't you criping  laugh!"

"Hey Daddy," Lucy comes up behind me, "I thought you could walk."